Good learning session with Marshall Gold Smith on 5th November 2012 at Hydrabad
some fantastic take home points
Marshall Goldsmith
• Success Delusion
o Four Key belief that help us become successful – prevent us from changing
I have succeeded
I can succeed
I will Succeed
I choose to succeed
o The Concept who have a more skewed self perception :
Individual athletes, Sales people, Politicians, College professors, College dean, Investment bankers, FBI agents, Jesuits Priest, Pilots, Medical Doctors
• Transactional Flaws that leaders should avoid
o Winning too much
Rao Gave 400Mill to charity but grumbled loose Rs 200/- . No one likes to loose
o Adding too much value
Adding value may increases the impact but definitely decreases the ownership
o Telling the world how smart we are
65% interpersonal communication is about “ how good I am or how bad others are “
o Passing Judgment
Check with people if they want to bet on it – instead of passing your judgment
o Avoid using “ No” , “But” , “However” in your conversations
Punish yourself if you use these works in your conversations
o Avoid speaking when angry
“When I lose control the problem is within”
o Punishing the messenger
“Say thank you more often”
o Avoid Favoritism
The Dog example – we all love suck ups – avoid encouraging the suck up culture
• Feedforward instead of feedback
o Steps to feedforward
Listen
Think
Respond
Involve
Change
o Action Plan for Feedforward
Ask your partner what can I do to be a better partner
Do this to all people who you care for and who matter
Do this repeatedly
Even if they give you suggestions that you may know or may not agree – say thank you
“Problem is not in understanding it – problem is in executing it”
• Change
o Important Changes you can make
Focus
Make life simple
Celebrate with people
Accept what is
o How Can we change for better
Feedback / Feedforward
Apologizing
Telling the world
Listening
Thanking
Follow-up
• Decision making and power
o Decision in the world are made by people who have power to make them – make peace with that
o These decision may or may not be rational but are made by people who have the power
o Treat others as customers especially the ones who have the decision power
• PDQ computer case – late coming + big breakthrough ( Missed celebrating the big break )
o We get fixed on our goals and forget our mission. We tend to focus on task and lose relationship
o It’s not important what or how I say – its important how we make people feel.
o We convey lack of trust – and unknowingly doubt people and loose leadership.
• Cognitive dissonance - Roman Number watch activity
o The disconnect between what we believe and what we experience or see
o We see what we think and not what is there
• Active and passive questions
o If we ask passive questions we will get environment answers, but when you ask active questions you get right answers
o Active questions focus on what you can do to maximize a positive difference for yourself
o List 6-10 active questions and follow through on them in daily basis
Did I do my best to …
• be happy
• find meaning
• be fully engaged
• build positive relationship
• set clear goals
• make progress towards goal achievement
o do something stupid every day
• Coaching
o Coaching lesson
If they do not care - don’t waste your time
If you don’t care – don’t waste your time
o Don’t make coaching your own Ego
o The most important factor for successful change is client – not the coach
o Best Coaching Advice – Achieve success
As a person
As a professional
o Great is the need of the student to learn; greater is the need of the teacher to teach.
o Rajat Example – Prof asked students to slap him for not doing their assignment.
• Employee engagement
- • Important Quotes
• “World is not a better place by what we learn it becomes a better place by what we do”
• “We receive feedback from others only consistent with what we think of ourselves”
• “For great achievers- it’s all about me …, for great leaders – it’s all about them.”
• “Real values are not what I say it’s what I do”
• “Help more judge less.”
• “Great achievers are not always great leaders”
• “Empathy is an important trait of a leader”
• “Ego and pride go hand in hand. Our Ego doesn’t let us accept negatives of what we pride.”
• “Lower your aspiration, increase your impact”
• “In Leadership , it is not about what we say, it is about what they hear”
• “Our default reaction to life is to experience inertia”
